I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
