yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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