Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
