Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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