so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
