yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
