Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
