Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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