the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
