I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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