im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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