Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
