There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize