My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
