Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
