i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Four minutes until I can fart!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
