Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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