it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
