I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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