i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
