but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
