She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
