There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
