I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
