I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
