you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize