If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
