Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
