I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
