Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
