he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
