haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Randomize
