And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
