his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
