He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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