Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
