Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Randomize
