Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize