Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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