I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
