Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize