but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize