walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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