Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I deserve this hangover.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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