I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
