take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
