I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
