On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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