I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
