it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize