If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
