I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
