sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
bring money and cleavage
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
