I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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