Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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