This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
