i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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