I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
