I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
