Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
