Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize