we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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