Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
